6 Things You Learn When Someone Breaks Up With You

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Shift your focus onto these things and people, and that will make doing the all-important step 2 as above, much easier. My post was about cutting guys off and maintaining silence after break-ups. Communication problems are really common causes in the deterioration of a relationship.

We were supposed to leave together, have dinner, and go to his house, but he emailed me 2 hours before it was time to leave and told me that he needed a break, that he was going to pick up his son to go shopping for clothes then take him to dinner and he would call me later to talk. Either one or both of us wanted someone different to experience life with. Plus my job was physically more demanding then his.

6 Things You Learn When Someone Breaks Up With You

I really really need help from you. Hi , Here is my story. My fiance just broke up with me almost 3 weeks ago. He is a US marine just got back from Afghanistan and i just graduated the university from Thailand. We met when we were in high school, a senior year. We dated for 5 years. So it was a long distance relationship but the distance never a problem for us. We were strong and completely madly in love. One day, he broke up with me just like that , no warning no signs no nothing i REALLY mean nothing I was off guard. He said he doesn't want to be with anyone and cant deal with long distance anymore but i think that was an excuse cuz it's been 5 years and i'm planning to go to the states to get a master's degree soon this year in a few months and then getting married and have a house blah blah. He said he wants to be left alone. I dont understand but the day before he broke up with me he seemed perfectly fine but he just went out with friends 2 nights before he broke up with me. He just broke up with me just like that. So yesterday I saw his picture with a girl in vegas near the pool and the girl is hugging him , it's like a flirty pic. She is a girl he hung out with a couple night s before he broke up with me. She's a friend of his friend's girlfriend. He claimed that he doesn't know her cuz i saw they were friends on facebook the night before he broke up. But now the pic says he lied to me. So i guess he's liking that girl and basically dumped me. Right now , im hurt really really bad. Im in thailand now and i'm not sure what to do. He was supposed to come to thailand 5 days after the day he broke up with me. He got a ticket and packed and everything. He went to the airport and he told me he couldn't even step off the car cuz if he sees me , he cant resist me. He told me that but he just threw the plane ticket away and he just said he couldnt come here... So yeah , i lost the chance to see him. I just want to know whats in his mind right now. Cuz i mean he just met her the night and we didnt fight. We were perfectly fine. NO SIGN AT ALL. I want to know what to do to make him want me back. I know it's bad but I love him. Or can you just please help me , advice me how to heal myself or get my ex fiance back? It's just so hard these days to live my life because im still confused and shocked with this freaking ugly situation. It is soo ugly and torturing. Please help me out. It will mean the world to me. Thank you so much in advance for your help and im sure your words can help me get thru this. Cuz it hurts seeing his moves -We dont talk anymore these days -What should I do with myself now. My life plan is ruined. The first thing you are going to do is stop the panicking... The second thing you are going to do is to sit and think about conversations you have been having, if there was any sign that would give impression of him pulling away. Evaluate if you were the one making contact more or it was even. Remember now, the long distance may have been okay with you, but he could have been living a double life, pretending that it was okay, but in the mean time looking around if he found someone to love. Let us not focus on that, but since you were in a serious relationship for 5 years and suddenly the distance is a problem I do not think so. He is afraid to let you know that he has met someone of interest. This may just be temporary, but he is clearing the way that if there is more to it he has no reason to push ahead. Some people believe that long distance get stronger with time, but not really, it gets weaker with time, the longer you stay away the more vulnerable the relationship becomes, so your theory of it happening for a number of years means he should be comfortable with it is not true, especially if he is the type of guy who loves physical contact. Ask him not to move too fast, that you need to have heart to heart about it, but you will not try and change his mind, just that you think after 5 years you should hold on just a little longer to see if you can make some adjustments to the relationship, so you can see each other on a regular basis, because if you continue like this, it will not get any better, have talk give him hope of a sooner and see. Thank you for your answer. I'm trying to heal myself now. I deleted his contact on facebook and stuff. I cleared the stuffs in my room that remind me about him. I'm trying little by little. It's so hard but we haven't talked since one week after break up. He's with another girl now, not sure if they are dating.... I know it's bad to ask but.. Also him being on tour could do any number of psychological things to a person, personally iv got 3-4 friends who came back from a tour with pretty bad issues and problems fitting back into a routine or normalcy in general e. Also the whole life plan thing could easily scare a guy away not everyone likes to have their future mapped out making it seem like its set in stone. That's all he wrote me. I unfriended him almost 2 weeks ago since I saw his pic with a new girl he's been hanging around but they are not dating... I havent contacted him since June 24th. Here's the thing, what should I do? I mean I really wanna him to come back but I just don't wanna bE a crazy ex u kno? I just wanna be cool with it. What should I do? Should I write him back or not? What should I say? Thank you We live in a culture that values sharing every thought and feeling as it occurs. As a result, we often don't pause to reflect on what we have just said. This lack of reflection can lead to a superficial connection with ourselves. In contrast, by paying attention to the silence within our conversation and embracing those spaces, we can connect more deeply with ourselves. This deeper connection is the basis of an authentically engaged and self-actualized life. Now you listen, your silence is saying more about you than if you were to say anything. Now he is interested, just observe and see how your silence will affect him, trust me on it, I have you back... I am in a situation that merits the same things of distance hurting us. I am in the same initial feelings you had of whether to take him back for his mistakes or to move on. I just am curious because after a year etc. I want to believe it will get better or something will become clear with active steps to better myself and the situation by healing. I have found this post merits almost the exact same feelings as mine and brought tears to my eyes reading it. I hope to hear from you! Best of luck to you and everyone who posted with advice. I wish I could give you a big hug. I've been thru and I totally feel you. It hurts a lot! Well it's been a year now since her broke up with me. I cried , I lost weigh , lost self esteem and soooo many that I lost. It took a while for me to heal. After half a year of breaking up, he contacted me back and asked me to return an engagement ring he gave. He did that a couple of times, I didn't return it to him tho. Not because I want it , but it's just not right!!!! He called me pathetic and calling me I'm acting like a child, when I told him I'm not returning it. He asked me to mail it to him. No way I'm doing that you know? After hurting me so much... You asking for a freaking ring back?? After I lost the whole self confidence , I decided to live my life and tried to gain it back again. I started from taking a Dj class cuz I wanted to be a Dj long time ago but I never start cuz I never care about myself, my passion. Only thing I care was him, him and him. And then I joined a national pageant competition, and unbelieveable, I won the first place in the country. Then I went on the international stage for that same competition and unbelieveable , I won the first runner up. Life has change a lot. I started to proud of myself again and I loved it. Now I'm a Dj in my country and I started to build up a reputation little by little. I'm not telling my story for showing off. Please don't get my wrong. I just want to cheer you up and trying to tell you that there's always a bright side of the situation. He dumped you , yes that's fine! But guess what, the next thing you know, you are hotter than ever. If he doesn't wanna be with an amazing girl like you, well... Try to focus on yourself. I kno it's hard I totally understand that but why don't you spend your time being sad to something that is ALL ABOUT YOU. Go get busy and pretty. It's time to love yourself more than him again. He doesn't deserve your tears and time. I know you can do it like I do. I wish I can help you and talk to you and hug you. Remember one thing , after this mess is gone, I promise you... Xoxo I am actually doing this to my fiance at the moment. He moved away and took a job paying him triple of what he was making so he can save up for our wedding. I missed him a lot at the beginning and then i started to get used to it. I saw him for my birthday in June and everything felt fine i was happy and content. Then i saw him for 4th of July and i don't know things didn't feel the same. Let me begin by saying he is the most amazing guy ever. We have been together for 4 and a half years and recently got engaged in January. Our relationship has always been perfect. I still didn't have answers for him. I just was not sure what to tell him and how to tell him that i was not ready to give answers. I want to get to a point where i feel like i cant go another minute without talking to him. I have been talking to some of my guyfriends just about random stuff and i stopped that as well because that can easily be a distraction. I miss him a lot i think about him a lot but i still dont feel like i want to contact him. I also think it may have to do with the fact that im 23 and idk if i want to get married and settle down so fast and hes 29 and has his career so he is ready.. Why don't you talk to a guidance counselor, sometimes we have issues deep in our subconscious and not until we get help it is difficult to unlock the feelings inside. Maybe you are going through depression when you think about marriage, it could be that your parents or a significant person in your life marriage did not work and you internalized it. Marriage is a wonderful thing, you are the person responsible for your destiny, the choices that you make, do not allow feelings to interfere with your life, do not ignore your gut feelings, process them, but do not allow feelings to take over your life. There is nothing wrong with your partner, there is really no need to put him through this, allow the principle of do unto others be your guide, it is not your age, at 23 you should know who your heart is for, so it has to be in your subconscious. See a professional; I am sure the answer is there. I completely understand where you are coming from and i just pushed my feelings aside and continued to work through things with him but in the process i feel like im not as connected as i used to be with him either. My parents have had a successful marriage, they have been together for over 37 years and still very much in love. I feel like i want to just go out and do whatever i want but again i dont.. I am sure your parents had struggles too, I am sure your siblings felt the same way you are feeling, but they made a choice to stay with their relationship, you need to choose for you, whatever makes you happy, most times when you leave you find that what you were looking for is not out there, but in your mind, so be very careful to be patient. WHEN i m trying ask anything due to his prblm. WHEN i m trying ask anything due to his prblm. I see red flag all over this relationship, how people are when you are not married is even worse when you are married all faults are magnified by 100, so if he is not communicating now, do not expect him to communicate very much in marriage unless he is going to get some help in learning how to communicate with his woman. It makes no sense to enter into a marriage with someone who is disconnected, I can see your sorrow, do you have to marry him?

Dear Bubba: Regardless of the reasons, he broke up with you even though you met him unconditionally and sacrificed a lot for him. They make mistakes at this age… They experience how cruel some men can be… They start to learn what they want out of a relationship. Dear Bubba: You are welcome. Yes, I guess I am just a bit anxious about this one. I met him back and we talked for the first time in what seemed like forever. Like your guy, mine has similarly told me that he loves me but thinks I should move on, because our relationship is certain to end badly he knows this because all his relationships have solo badly and he doesn't want me to get more hurt. When it comes to a time conflicts between a friend or your husband - hubby will win all the time as it should be. Did you know that the has an entire module dedicated to helping you sin and deal with all the messy and agonizing feelings that often accompany a breakup. I haven't left the house, or talked to anyone except God. So I didn't do anything. If you're always available when he calls, you actually LESSEN your worth in his eyes, not between. He my fiance broke up with me generally the one to say he missed me or ask what I up to at the weekend.